How to Remember Adulting Tasks When Your Brain Refuses To

Someone once said that adulting is hard.

I used to think that meant is it’s hard to choose to do the stuff that needs to be done instead of what I want to do. But let’s be really honest for a second. Even getting to make the choice between have to and want to requires remembering the stuff we have to do.

The trickiest adulting tasks are infrequently recurring tasks: the things you have to do over and over, but less often than once a week or so. Things like paying taxes, having your car serviced, even checking in with friends and family.

Have you ever felt a vague sense of unease, worry, or guilt, like you’re forgetting something important? Or forgetting everything important? Maybe you felt that once a couple years back, or maybe 24/7 for the last… forever.

Here’s the thing. It doesn’t have to be that way. There’s a way to turn down that emotional background noise, and it doesn’t require you to remember anything more than once. When you have a system in place that remembers for you, you can trust the system and stop trying to remember everything. You can also stop worrying that you forgot something. And let me tell you, the feeling of relief you experience is amazing.

Let me show you how it’s done.

There are five steps to staying on top of recurring tasks. There’s an easy way, and a hard way. The hard way looks like this:
  1. Remember that the task exists as something that needs to be done once in a while
  2. Remember how often it needs to be done
  3. Remember the last time it got done
  4. Remember when it needs to be done again
  5. Do it
Spoiler alert: not only does this not work, it’s super stressful to even try. Why? I David Allen sums it up best:

“Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.”

So what should you do instead? Use a system that is meant for holding ideas. It can be software like gantry, but an empty notebook or even a couple sheets of paper will work too.
Here’s the easy way:
  1. Write down the task
  2. Write down how often it needs to happen
  3. Write down the last time it got done
  4. Write down when it needs to be done again, in a place where you’ll actually see it at the correct time
  5. Do it, then update the last done and next due dates.

Step One: The Big List

We can’t do anything we don’t know we need to do. So the first step is to make a list of the things we know we need to do. You might miss a few things, and that’s OK. Once you have the list, you also have a place to add any you forgot.

I recommend writing down a few that you can think of off the top of your head first, but there are also numerous lists of these type of tasks you can find online.

Step Two: How Often?

Once you have your list, it’s time to make a note of how often each task should be done.

Step Three: When Did You Last Do It?

For many things, it’s OK to guess. For really important or time-sensitive things, it might be worth the effort of doing some digging to find out.

Once you start using the system - see Step Five (b) - you have the choice of keeping a record of every time you do each task, or just the last time. If you’re into data, you can do some really interesting things with these records.

Step Four: When Should You Do It Next?

a) The first part is relatively straightforward - if you know how often it needs to be done and when you last did it, you can figure out when it needs to be done next (or maybe when you should have done it - whoops!)

b) The second part gets messier. Now that you know when it needs to be done next, you need to remind your future self in a way that actually works. After years of trying different things that don’t work, here’s what I found that does work:

Keep a running list of all of the “next due” dates for your repeating tasks, in date order. Then, check this list Every. Single. Day. Why every day? Because then it becomes a habit, something automatic. If you already plan your day every day, make checking this list part of that planning process.

If you’re using paper, here’s a hint: leave some space between those next due items. The things you do more frequently will naturally “cut” in line ahead of the ones you do less frequently. You’ll occasionally run out of room or get too messy and have to write out a fresh copy of the list, but if you leave space, it will happen less often.

If you’re using a computer - word processor, spreadsheet, whatever works for you - you can simply add a line in between.

Step Five: Do it!

a) When the time comes to do the thing, you know it’s time because you checked your list. You can do it as soon as you check your list, you can add it to your daily plan, or you can set a reminder. Whatever works for you to make sure it doesn’t get forgotten. (But if you do forget, it will still be at the top of your list when you check it tomorrow)

b) After you do it:
  • update the last done date for the task - this is helpful in case you decide you want to change how often you want to do it, or you realize you made a mistake in figuring out the next due.
  • figure out when the next time you need to do it is, and add it to your list
  • check or cross it off your next due list. Don’t cross off the old next due until the new next due is written down, or things can fall through the cracks

Forgiving Yourself

Once you have a system in place, I wish I could tell you that you’ll never forget or be late on anything again. Unfortunately, you will. We’re only human after all.

But here’s the difference: Once you have most things under control most of the time, it feels totally different. Instead of being stressed all the time and feeling like a failure as an adult, it’s possible to take mistakes in stride. You can forgive yourself and move on. If you forget to check your list one day, it’s fine. Just don’t miss twice. And if you do miss twice, the sooner you forgive yourself, the sooner you can get back in the habit of checking every day.

One Last Note

It’s 100% possible to implement this system with almost any tool. Pencil and paper, text editor, spreadsheet, whatever feels comfortable.

But gantry is purpose built for this exact thing. That means once you tell it what your recurring tasks are, how often you want to do them, and your best guess on when the last time you did them was:
  • It handles all of the calculations for when to do it next for you
  • It keeps the next due list sorted and up to date, no rewriting or copying ever
  • You can plan your day in gantry, and easily pull in those next due tasks
  • You can get daily reminder emails to check the list
  • It’s easy and fun to use